My eyes feel heavy, 
like I’ve been staring at the sun for days without breaks.
I have been in my room stuck on my bed,
nursing my stomach aches.

I can’t see my window, 
neither can i touch Jupiter or know what turn it takes.
I am convinced I am lost in my hobbies, staring at screens,
planning for the future.

The wave of breeze I feel from the automated air, 
reminding me of the feeling I know all to well.
The delusion for the future, driven by the past,
ignoring the present and living in a cast.

I am familiar again,
with the pattern which fuels my joints to overload.
In preparation for what i want to be something.
But never actually taking the steps and finalizing to…nothing.

Am i ready this time? Or am i tumbling yet again?
I am terrified from my past lives, I know i am terrified.
But I have watched the sun rise and fall so many times without my consent.
I have prayed to touch the moon in many ways without relent.

My feet are preparing this time for their first climb, 
outside my castle of perfection.
My eyes are wet and ready to flirt.
My mind has tried to close shop on me, 
showing visions of turmoil and uncertainty.
But relentless is my body, as it knows now i have to walk with the stars.
I might tumble, yes.
But one….two, is where it starts.